Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Auntie

Auntie
Jan 4 1918 – Aug 30 2011
With respect , gratitude and love from Nephew Mike C



At Hanccok Place Nursing Home on Tuesday night , after Auntie had passed, reminiscing out in the corridor with Bev’s “Marvelous Mike”I told Suzi’s husband and sparring partner Joel that I had known Auntie since I was 16, and he said, “Yeah, me too!” Both of us so fortunate , but my 16 began much earlier in 1966.
I was introduced to her as Auntie and never called her Mrs. Higginson or Rosemary just Auntie , the one, the only ,the always.
Cyndy would tell stories of childhood Christmases and holidays at the big home on Sycamore Ave in Brockton, , wonderful birthday parties and party dresses, all generous gifts of Auntie, co-sponsored by Uncle Bill, the gentle truck and bus drivin’ man.
Soon I was introduced to Summer a la Auntie – the Duxbury Beach Cottage site of and inspiration for many an “El Blasto!”
There were tales of Happy Hours Nursery at the Sycamore home with Anna Greene…not today’s version of pre-school pick-up for sure, not with one row of kids on the back seat ,seat belts not yet invented, and a second row of kids sitting on a board stretched from one back seat arm rest to the other…but Everything a kid needed to learn and plenty of singing and art and most of all TLC.= Tender Loving Care. And there is no sweeter wish or graduation momento than Anna’s “Happy Hours Forever.”

When Cyndy and I married half our first apartment furniture came from Auntie’s home and we were so grateful to have it.
Who could have predicted that we would return to the Post Island neighborhood of our childhood , to #5 Post Island Road and that Auntie and Bev would be our neighbors at #15 2003-2004? Auntie really enjoyed a few intrepid summer swims there with Cyndy.

It is certainly no coincidence that all 3 of her nieces, Mimi, Cyndy and Nancy have become extra-ordinary Nurses ( and so did a Nephew, myself and Great Nephew Chris Balsamo ) Auntie talked of the old style bedside nursing mixing up medications on the ward and making mustard plasters and various poultices ,having studied and worked at the ultimate “Bootcamp of Nursing” Boston City Hospital.

Today we can still hail and salute her as a proud Veteran ,Second Lt Richards, US Army Nurse Corps- “The Littlest Lt in the Army” Small in stature but giant in personality and spirit ,she was a tiny titan.
If you look hard at the murals and photos at what is a mall now, but was the WWII Hingham Shipyard, you can imagine Auntie doing her best first aid.
Years later as medicine and nursing made great advances she would refer jokingly to her heart valve transplant as her “piggy valve” .

“Yes, Virginia there is a Mrs. Santa Claus”- that’s Auntie. What a treasure to have one of her ceramic Christmas houses or tree ornaments –we have both …a precious bell for Joe’s first Christmas 1970. For a number of years she hosted Christmas sing-a –longs, this last at her Clay St apartment was the best , from Carols to old sing a longs like “Only a Shanty in Old Shanty Town” with special naughty verses she added .There was “That Old Gang of Mine” and I know she liked “Roll Out the Barrel”because she was truly a barrel of fun. These and every laughter filled visit to her “just made our day”.

After all the arranging and farewells for our first retirement RV tripback in Sept 2008 Auntie was our final visit and she would not let us go without $20 for Whimpies- that’s hamburgers for you “Mcyoungsters”. Auntie was always generous with what she had. Each of us would go away from her with a smile of gratitude.



Her passing is a such a passage for each of us, such fortunate chapters in one another’s book of life .But most especially for two -as she would say her “favorite” Daughter Beverly Mae and her “favorite “ Sister Lois. To her they were always the most cherished and devoted ,constant companions and dearest darlings.

As the firstborn child she was “Rosebud”; Anna and pals called her “Richie”; Bill called her “Buddy” ;Herbie called her “Rosemum” . ”Happy Higginson” could have been another nick-name . Her two greatest attributes and gifts were humor and love. Over the past few years when sight or hearing or memory would falter, she would fill in the blanks with wit aplenty .”How should I know what it looks like ,I’m almost blind” ,she quipped , or to “How old are you?”- “Well I was born in 1918 ,you do the math!”
Her birthday was Jan 4 so close to Anna’s that same year, but Rosemary was always older Anna joked. Jan 8th was her 2nd Brother Bob’s birthday and they had a very special relationship, sharing so many celebrations, songs , jokes and toasts and a thrill with the 4 th of July fireworks. After an especially terrific grand finale one 4th Bob asked ,“How are we going to top that next year?” Auntie shot right back,”We’ll have to do it in the nude!”

Robbie now aboard ship so far way is close in spirit and lovingly remembers Auntie being “like a second mother” to him. Down the other end of the spectrum he remembers “Rock’em Sock’em Robots” matches just a few summers ago in the backyard of #8 and #10 Shoreside Road where he battled a very competitive Auntie to a hilarious draw. Joe and Marion must have been watching from the “Ivory Tower”. Rosemary did not wander far from those remarkable roots.


Speaking of athletics- did anyone ever really see Auntie golf? (Was it actually miniature golf?)


At Suzi and Joel’s wedding this May 7th the Bride and her Granmother were truly radiant. Auntie took in every marvelous detail and rejoiced.

If anyone of us could orchestrate our last day on earth it would be like Auntie’s as Bev the best daughter ever visited twice, granddaughters Mimi and Suzi too , and Lois for 4 hours. There was a cook-out , singing , a final hot-dog, Bev tucked her in and then as she would probably say ,she went “off to Dreamland” …

She took such joy in children- her Bev, Mimi, Zuzi, Ryan ,Ari and Kyle and everyone else’s – especially the youngest ,like Zoe and Ethan’s 3 boys- David, Andrew and Little Ethan. All were enchanted by and with her. Lois ,Cyndy and I brought Christine and Joe’s amazing 8 week old Will Power to meet her for the first time several weeks ago. As she was with every baby ,she was absolutely ecstatic, perhaps even more so in the twilight of her life as she understood each child represents the essential gift of life and hope for the world and for each of us. Cyndy and I will always remember that special meeting between Auntie and Will. Cyndy nestled her blue Will Power bracelet next to Auntie in repose last night. Cyndy has always said how Auntie and Lois always have kept their Brother Bobbie alive to us . We will ever remind Will that this very special ,sparkling, smiling, superb and splendid woman who held him with such joy and love in her arms and heart ,is and always will be,his, and our Auntie.

( Additionally- As Mimi noted in her eulogy Auntie (like Marion) had done it all and seen it all , even some “impossible things –like Suzi getting married and Joe Cotter having a baby!” It must be “good grief” when everyone laughs as the funeral procession pulls into the Church annual Yard Sale, and there is ribald verse and rollicking song at the graveside answered with laughter and applause. Leave it to Auntie to put “the fun in the funeral! )

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Jayne Bowe

Remembrances of Jayne Bowe, our dear VNAB colleague and friend…

With so many wonderful colleagues and amazing patients over those 15 years at VNAB for me one of the true rewards and gifts was getting to know Jayne. As “weekend warriors” it was always a marathon, with time in short supply, but never a shortage of kindness , especially on Jayne’s part. Jayne was always so gentle and empathetic with patients who called the office- they might not be able to see her, but they knew she really cared and that was a real comfort. She was always so willing to help, always doing the extras, never complaining even with all the difficulties her health problems and treatments brought. She was naturally very cute, but coping with the hair loss due to chemo she opted to wear a wig. I remember the late Sunday afternoon in the office when venting a bit about the warmth of the wig, our nurse / comrade Dennis said, “Come on Jayne, just take it off, you’ll feel and look cool!” Without hesitation she did just that, and indeed she felt and looked cool. . She knew so well that she was among supportive friends who cheered for her then and always.

Bad things happen to good people- and the best people continue to care and help as did Jayne . Like all of us she was so saddened at the sudden and inexplicable death of our dear colleague/friend Sandy Grant. That was an unforgettable reminder to cherish life, our beloved family and friends each day.

Even with all the rush and pressure of the weekend work she was always genuinely interested in our lives and families. We knew for sure that Jayne profoundly and unconditionally loved and was totally committed to her kids and grandkids from the many pictures and stories she shared with us.

Jayne sincerely wished me and Cyndy (also one of her friends and fans) a bon voyage when we left the VNAB for our retirement travels in Sept 2008. We emailed and spoke a few times by phone, keeping in touch, getting updates on her condition.

We started to hear from devoted friend Rhonda of Jayne’s deteriorating health in the spring of this year. Our last visit to her just two weeks before she died was poignant and powerful. With all she had endured and was going though she greeted us with a smile, asked how we had been, told us how Rhonda came often and how happy she was recently to see Dennis…we joked a bit ,her pain was not too bad she said , she seemed peaceful as she dozed off.

We heard that she died soon after our visit.
Cyndy attended the wake for us, sharing our grief, respect, and gratitude.

In 2010 VNAB nurses came to our home to take care of me after my cancer surgery and in 2011 they came again for Cyndy after her heart attack and by-pass surgery .In addition to “Susan Komen for the Cure” we made a donation to the VNAB in Jayne’s memory. Those of us who were privileged to know Jayne from the VNAB , from the long hours, from the encounters and challenges of all types, from the frustrations and fun ,the teamwork and camaraderie, we will always remember Jayne’s grace and generosity of spirit. Jayne will always be to us a truly good and loving woman and our dear friend.

Mike and Cyndy Cotter