Mary "Gram" Prendergast

Mary “Gram” Prendergast
April 8,1898 - February 5, 1995


“There is Love”

The last time we were all together as a family was to celebrate the marriage of Jim and Carolyn. From the amount of laughter and good spirits heard among us at the wake yesterday recalling stories of Gram and Gramp, it’s so true that while we share a sense of loss, so much more we come together to celebrate Gram’s life and its meaning to us.

It was my special good fortune to be at Gram’s bedside with my Mom, Aunt Ann and Cousin Maureen as Gram died. As a nurse I have cared for people as they neared death and after they passed away ,but this ,this was the first time I was with someone at the exact moment of passing from life to death. To me it was both powerful and inspiring ,in character profoundly spiritual and awesome ,something like the moment of birth. It was Gram’s room mate Josephine ,who though emotionally upset ,spoke the joyous truth as she pointed to Gram and us and said,”There is love; there is love!”

We are all here today because of that love, to honor and cherish her life and its special meaning to each of us – as Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, Great-Great-Grandmother and friend. Each of us has so many personal memories to laugh about and be grateful for. So many times she would jokingly remind me of Gramp’s appraisal of my potential carpentry skills while watching me as a child wielding tools: she’d say “Your Grandfather always said I hope Mike gets himself a good education ,because he’ll never make a living using his hands”. Nearly every time I’d visit Gram lately she would comment with a wink about Cyndy and me and our 25th anniversary – “And to think ,they said it would never last!” I will always be so grateful she sold her Kilby street home to us – a place of very special memories to us cousins…the “Zarex” in the shiny metal tumblers (we would all love to have one) ,the fresh baked bread ,rolls, and molasses cookies ( we can still smell and taste them) and those virtually indestructible mittens and socks she made (which some of us still have) all intermingled with Gramp’s colorful colloquial language, free-style driving, pipe puffing and card playing and above all devotion to church and family. As a couple and and as individuals they were totally devoted to us and we each had a special personal relationship with and devotion to them. During my last visit with Gram I had gone through the photo album at her bedside and actually pointed out to her a picture of each of us. When I had finished she declared clearly and tenderly ,”I love them all!” And here on behalf of all of us I want to thank Aunt Ann and Uncle Al for their total devotion to caring for Gram each day over the past 24 years in their home and at Hollywell.

Gram was very humble and lived very simply, but her almost 97 year life seems to me like a modern epic, historically and personally. She lived through so many social changes and advances in technology, so many human joys and sorrows. Over the decades beginning in a Canadian farm village ,she witnessed the advent of electricity ,the radio, automobile,airplane, television, space travel, the Depression, and two World Wars, and times of peace and progress- truly the worst of times and the best of times. With this as a backdrop she struggled through and overcame so many personal losses: her mother at birth,her only brother Eddie ,her beloved daughters Kaye and Alice and her husband Alfred. Through it all her amazing personal strength and faith sustained her (and she who had trained as a nurse sustained us with her care.) Even during these last difficult months ,coping with the stroke , she persevered and maintained that inner spark. Working with the therapists she’d declare .”I have to try –it’s the least I can do.” Life was indeed precious to her and she would not give it up. She was amazinglhy at peace with the physical limitations, but could still surprise us with lines of poetry from her childhood and her wit. When we would encourage her with a ,”Gram ,you look good today!” she would come right back with,”I can’t help it ; I was born this way.” That essence, her way and example has been born in us.

When Gram breathed her last on Sunday night about 10 PM four of us were with her representing all of us. Our first reaction was “she’s gone”…but gone where ? To a heavenly afterlife yes ,but gone surely where she has always been and will always be: in the minds and hearts of each of us.

The opening hymn in our celebration this morning was so appropriate to her spirit and ours:
“Be not afraid ;I go before you always.
Come ,follow me; know that I am with you through it all”.

Such strength and faith ! Truly, there is love always…