My Patient Jim T

An Appreciation of Jim Tyree
(from my early years at VNAB)

Dear Ollie, Family and Friends of Jim,

Over much of the past 3 years I have been fortunate to have been Jim’s nurse on the weekend: in recent weeks I would see him and Ollie both in the early afternoon and late evening. I will always be grateful for these times and the life lessons and truths Jim shared with me in words and example. Jim was a man of strong character- cantankerous , stubborn, and gruff at times in speech and manner when frustrated, but remarkably brave and uncomplaining given all his physical disabilities…He reminded me of own grandfather that way and the way he’d smoke his pipe in the livingroom …He was fiercely determined to live out his life at home on his own terms ,and with as much independence,choice and control as he could command – and command he could! I often joked with him and it was true – he was an “efficiencly expert and physical movement engineer” – all I really had to do was to listen and follow his carefully considered and precise directions. He reminded me that what people most want from us is to listen and validate their thoughts and feelings.

His thoughts and feelings in these last days especially were of his beloved Ollie. She became his legs when he could no longer get around and he became her memory when hers did not work so well and I witnessed them coming closer together, pehaps closer than ever as life became more difficult and more precious. They became ever more devoted and loving helpmates. When I would arrrive often around 9PM and let myself into their home with the key they entrusted to me they’d be snuggled together in bed and Jim would joke –“Here’s Mike to tuck the kids in for the night!” We’d talk about anything and everything- from sports trivia ,favorite foods, current events to the sweetness of good jazz music and the great singers Ella, Nat King Cole , war and work stories ,life struggles ,the difficulties and sorrows of relationships, the goodness of loving family and friends, the loss of health and inevitability of death . Jim told me many times he was not afraid to die. “The Good Lord always provides a way here and hereafter.” I saw Jim transcending his struggles with a renewed faith. I believe that in the fullness of his life he achieved peace. I remember about 2 years ago considering his funeral arrangements and obituary he said in both a cantankerous and vulnerable tone,” I don’t want the death announcement to say beloved husband and father; I’m not feeling very beloved.” -but that was one of those passing low and lonely moments. Overall and especially in the end he knew without a doubt that he was and will always be be our beloved husband, father, and friend and a lasting example of personal bravery ,faith and love.

I wish you all peace and happy memories of Jim Tyree like those I will always recall when passing by #4 Otisfield…
Sincerely
Mike “The Weekend Nurse” at Jim’s service at the church across the street April 1997