Uncle Jack

Our Uncle Jack – some special memories and reflections…

Although our family has always been separated by 3000 miles we have somehow been able to always feel close to our West Coast family. Several ‘cross country’ road trips were made during our childhoods when it was a ‘big deal’ to take such a trip. Our first ’adult’ visit was in 1975 with our 5 year old Joe , Mimi and her 2 year old daughter Zoe .We received a royal welcome with many family members meeting us at the airport. Uncle Jack and Aunt Rose took us up to ‘the cabin’ at Lassen . We learned why this place was so special to Jack as we sat out under the stars at night around the campfire and took swims in the river - a wonderful experience. When we came back to Vallejo (it wasn’t American Canyon, then) Uncle Jack let us take his truck down the coast for a week and we were overwhelmed with his generosity. We knew what great care he took with his vehicles.
Uncle Jack came with Uncle Gene in January of 2002 when our dad, their brother Bob, died suddenly. Their visit gave us the strength to face that difficult time. Uncle Jack’s eulogy to Dad recalled their closeness as kids…how they would stick up for each other in neighborhood battles around Clarence Street and Upham’s Corner. We felt a special connection to those neighborhoods when we both worked there as Boston Visiting Nurses passing by the various old homesteads where the Roche family grew up and also Grampa Roche’s firehouse house that remains in use on Columbia Road.
Uncle Jack was the support and strength to so many of his family members. He was always the one to deliver a beautiful eulogy or a sweet poem to mark a special occasion.
He was busy everyday in his garden or his workshop but he always was there to lend an ear and offer support or guidance when ‘the kids’ - children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, friends, needed some sound advice.
He could certainly act the ‘tough guy’ but he was so proud of his Bobby and his fabulous grandsons and their wives who helped him so much in the past few years. He would tell us over and over how great you were and how much he loved all of you. He was very proud of his grandson Patrick and his personal triumphs.
Uncle Jack was such a brave example to us when he faced the passing of his beloved Rosey as he struggled with his own health problems and sadly less than four years later with Peggy’s sudden death…Peg of his heart – he bravely carried on…
We revisited Uncle Jack in the fall after Peggy’s death to fulfill a promise to go up to his beloved cabin . This time we got to meet the fabulous neighbors, Donna and Jack who have been so wonderful to Uncle Jack for many years. We had heard about them many times and now we thank you so much for all your caring and generosity.
We really had fun with Jack every time we were together and it kept us connected to our own Dad as there were many similarities between the two brothers.
We kept in touch with phonecalls and we knew Uncle Jack was coping with pain and sometimes loneliness but he carried on his routine bravely. His biggest complaint was his lack of energy when he could only work out in his shop for 3 hours without being exhausted as he neared 90 years of age.
We are so happy that during our last visit this past March we were able to bring our mom Lois for a visit and as we sat around after supper and played Scrabble Jack said how nice it was to have us gathered at his table ‘like old times.’
During that visit he was bothered by an itch on his back. Lois suggested a cream but it was hard to apply to his back. In true Roche fashion we combined a solution with a joke and found a small paint roller with a long handle. Jack gave it a try and laughed heartily because it really worked, not as good , he said “as a good looking woman “, but a workable substitute.
　
So isn’t it wonderful that Uncle Jack had his ‘Last Hurrah’ at the cabin he loved so much and passed away peacefully in Bobby and Stephanie’s home after making it to his 90th birthday. He was another member from the ‘Greatest Generation’: Husband, father, proud veteran of WW II ,fireman, poet , painter, and friend to all. Truly, a life well lived.
Now he can at last return to Rose and Peggy, his Mom and Dad and brothers Pete, Bob and Gene… Uncle Jack always had such a rich, strong voice that we now find ourselves with a sweet souvenir. We loved hearing his voice so much we have kept a message from him on our cell phone for over two years:
“Cyndy Baby, Where are you? Just checking in…No hurry - wondering where you are and when you are coming up. Talk to you later …Love you “….a simple message ,but it’s all there…the kidding, the love – we know where you are Uncle Jack and though we are not in a hurry , we will be coming up and will talk to you later and love you always…