Bob- Our King of Comedy

Bob Roche- Our King of Comedy- His Legacy of Laughter and Joy

For a time Bob sported the license plate “Royalty” on his car and truly will always be our “King of Comedy”. He was the embodiment of joie de vivre, the joy of living in every aspect of his life and with every individual he encountered. Everyone always came away from a meeting with Bob feeling uplifted, by his contagious humor, warm smile,( always smiling) and twinkling eyes. He did as the poem says “live by the side of the road, being a friend to man”. Bob did not have as the saying goes "a mean bone in his body", lots of sneaky bones, but we’ll get to that later) If someone was obnoxious, crude or insensitive he’d be labeled “bananas” “Cement head “ or “a strange fruit”. Examining his birth certificate you’ll note Bob was actually born while his parents were guests of the US Navy in Panama, specifically - and I’m not making this up in the town of Coco Solo, freely translated “one of a kind nut” In fact when we celebrated his 80th birthday on January 8th making him officially the world’s youngest octogenarian, he reigned supreme sharing the ultimate ‘Nut cake /birthday cake “ created by dear friend Chef Robert Kenney of San Francisco. J Robert Roche also had several aliases from the Upham’s Corner Uptown Club youthful moniker “Bibbits” to “McGuiness”, Grampy Joe’s plumbing apprentice, to “Chesley” as in jokingly “56 fabulous years with Chesley”.

“The Big Bopper” as he dubbed himself was a true music lover from his Coast Guard Lightship serenades with Tony Hernan on guitar to his mellifluous greetings on the phone answering machine at 479-0131 whose tones are the opening to “I love Paris in the Springtime”. Bob favored callers with “Autumn Leaves"," Tip toe Through the Tulips” “Summer Time” and sometimes an accent borrowed from The Pink Panther’s Detective Clousseau. He knew the words to thousands of the great old songs, especially the witty ones like “Caldonia- what makes your big head so hot?” ,”Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby?", "How'd You Like to Spend Christmas on Christmas Island?” To that “Old English Madrigal” that begins -”There once was a bird", you know what that rhymes with and where it ends up... to the classic “Oh Suzanne Was a Funny Old Sow complete with symphonic snort and feigned flatulence. He loved Dixieland, especially the local Black Eagle Jazz band we heard many times on harbor cruises “Polka dots and Moonbeams” on tuba. Maestro Roche was classically trained and often performed his pianissimo rendition of “The Maiden’s Prayer” to awestruck audiences, scarcely able to believe their ears!

Bob loved the Movies and knew the names of countless classic films and stars. He reveled in imitating the original, histrionic Doctor Frankenstein’s cry .”It’s Alive!", or reenacting the scene from “Mutiny on the Bounty”#
# in which Charles Laughton’s sadistic Captain Bly orders a crew member flogged- Bly-”Inflict the punishment!”...horrified mate-”But Sir, the man’s dead!’ Bly-”nevertheless, inflict the punishment!” Bob would recount unforgettable lines as in “Lovers and Other Strangers on what interests keep a long married, but disparate couple together- “Your mother and I are interested in various types of food”. And the mother’s reply to son Richie’s call for guidance- “Son, happiness will only make you miserable!” Bob enjoyed so many visits to that cinematic showplace the Wollaston Theater on Monday and Tuesday nights of course when the admission is only one dollar, the coffee ten cents -just watch out for those seat springs, ceiling tiles and possible mold allergies!

Ten Shoreside Road a place of magic, mystery and occasional mishap...
Cyndy recalls coming home fro lunch from grammar school and walking into the dining room to see Bob's leg dangling through the ceiling due to a misstep in the attic...
- The time Bob lacerated his thumb trying to cut up a coconut on his trusty table saw- probably the only time that has been attempted in the annals of sawing.
-The famous exploit when he tried to move the workshop refrigerator onto a flood proof platform by himself and one by one frozen foods and juice cans tumbled out of the tipped open freezer shelves onto his hatless, bald head as he could not let go of the fridge or fend them off- and you know how full their freezers always are! “I can’t believe I didn’t get knocked out!", he'd remark. Speaking of comestibles-he and Lois were always the “king and Queenie of Coupons and the Regents of Rebates”- they invented the lifestyle motto-”The max for the minimum”. And other oft repeated words to live by echo unforgetably ...”Next week we’ve got to get organized!”,”But that’s another Story!”,and the guiding daily credo from antiquity-”Carpe Diem!”=“Seize the Day!”
Back to that near knock out,there's the legendary “don’t try this at home ”stunt when on the eve of a long anticipated vacation Bob went out into the darkened family room to adjust the dinner music, plunged down through the open trap door, which then whomped him on the head all 75 pounds of it and pile drove him into the catacomb/cellar. Lois came out from the kitchen, to investigate, calling “Bob, where are you?”-and he answered faintly from below-”I think I’m down here!” Upon extraction and examination, miraculously nothing was broken (“Lucky for me it was my head", he quipped, Just mussed my hair!”) The most recent entry to famous falls was the senior Olympic “Finnegan Flip” at Freddie and Debbie Nigro’s party when Bob, accompanied by family patriarch Uncle Neal somersaulted backwards over a picnic bench without serious harm and Matriarch Aunt Kitty landed on her feet-Okey-Dokey. Let it be known that blood alcohol levels were not a factor in any of the foregoing.

Back to “mussed hair”- who ever got more material and laughter out of so few hairs? Bob explained that he went from a young curly-haired suitor to a follicular-challenged Romeo by “wearing it off on the headboard!” He would frequently caution us not to disturb his “coiff" or make that dramatic gesture as if sweeping a flowing mane back from his forehead, and he would delight himself and us on more formal occasions by sporting Brother Gene’s “Hairloom”.

“Clothes make the Man”- What a wardrobe! and Lois such a valet- Remember for their 50th Anniversary we rented the Scituate beach house and he and Lois descended the stairs, he in the fancy dressing robe from Mimi& Sal Bob announcing- “Lady Golytely and Lord Ashbarrel!” What other 80-year-old guy had diamond earring-So cool -his 50’ ish year old sons -in-law will emulate in tribute. ( And I will wear in my ear the diamond we gave him for his 75th “Diamond Birthday” so every morning on awakening ,every day we share,day and every sweet good night ,Cyndy might see in me a reflection of him...) Who else’s “meet your maker duds” would include a “Cleaner, Greener Quincy T-shirt”?

And hats-what a collection! “Well that’s another story", he'd say- for later...
at the “Custom House” celebration (the old “Fox and Hounds” restaurant where Lois professionally and most graciously waitressed to balance the family income) What parade of hats Bob sported ...like Bartholemew Cubbins with the 500 hats in the Dr.Seuss tale here are just a select few-(this especially for beloved Brothers Jack and Gene here with us from California bring the love of the whole family) starting with his Dad’s Boston Fireman’s helmet #21,from the Upham’s Corner neighborhood firehouse on Columbia Road...he loved and challenged,respected and forgave,but mostly loved his complicated father...and most of all his dear Mother “Maisy” she was as he always said “wonderful” Looking through papers in Bob’s amoire I found a copy of a song I wrote for him as he made his good-bye to her...
Maisy
Maisy while you were sleeping
I kept watch by your side.
Reading the words you gave me
To save me and be my guide...

Light your corner, tend your garden
Do what good you can do.
The world can hold such beauty!
To thine own self be true!

They called me one week later,
to tell me you had gone-
But you’ll never ever leave me -
Wherever I go, there you are.

Light your corner; tend your garden.
Do what good you can do
Maisy,this world is crazy-
But so much better for the love of you!

Hats I have a duffel bag full of them, only a sample - one for every occasion or any theme...the Captain’s cap, a cowboy hat, a hillbilly hat, a painting/fix up the compound hat, a jester’s hat, a hat with antlers (Bob was after all a “horny” guy as Lois will testify, a Red Sox cap (he was the ultimate optimist!), a top hat, a “Big Mac” hat, a colonial tri-corner (always the patriot),a birthday crown... after all he was “Roche Royalty” on and on the hats go for that noble and comic carapace...

As Sal proclaimed in addition to being “the best man I ever knew” Bob Roche was a true jack of all trades. He had to be to keep the family compound together- constantly, ingeniously, often hilariously modifying and improving all manner of things with his plumbing, electrical and carpentry skills. There are countless tools, parts and “what’s that for ?”gizzmos in the workshop collected over the years. “When you’ve got one, you've got none"," Work smarter, not harder”, and “Semper Paratus” harkened back to his Lightship experience as a 21 year old kid running an engine room by on the job trial and error. He recounted how the Captain got a very nasty surprise when he flushed the head and the contents exploded upward, outward, everywhere in the Captain’s quarters because of a pressure valve turned the wrong way from below in the engine room. Bob learned quickly out of necessity. Fast forward to the recent Boston Globe comic strip captured his amazing “Mr. Fix-it “ talent- He was “No leaks Roche", part Rube Goldberg and Gyro Gearloose. Knowing my hardware handicap he’d joke when advising me on how to repair something- “Mike-did you bring your hatchet?” He crafted exquisite, museum quality furniture that adorns Shoreside Road. He even invented his own language at his 40th Anniversary party “Lamisane”...He gifted me with this-the first home satellite dish... Check out this skylight opener-$30 at Home Depot- Bob fashioned this one from an antique bit-brace, piece of pipe and hook- patent pending. Remember his beloved father-in-law Joe notoriously asked as a challenge when Lois became pregnant with Nancy in the very small cottage-”what are you going to do now? You screwed yourself out of the house!” Bob turned a toy storage drawer into a pullout trundle bed (Joe-”What the hell’s that??) Three girls, one room, no problem. And what other home features a “butterfly roof” supported by a carved column in a family room or a “cantilevered pilothouse”? How many times did Bob stoke that original furnace with coal while the girls removed penny apiece buckets of accumulated ash and of all things the “how did those get there? golf balls? How many times did he disassemble or repair the boiler when the “f”word =flood happened? When the heat was finally moved above the tide line and he could tend the wood stove to drive off the winter chill ,could anyone have enjoyed the elemental task and comfort more?
Of course the woodstove wasn’t the only utility he tended- the odiferous task of managing the cesspool (one of Quincy’s last) he’d joke-I’ll be out back, going through the movements”...How many people also have a worm recycling compost farm? Who else but Bob and Lois, the “Ultimate Gardeners” could have transformed a veritable desert landscape into “The Marion and Joe Richards Memorial Park”? As the saying goes" He and she who plant a garden, plant happiness “ -they surely have!

They loved boating and fishing on “Paradise Harbor” Nobody ever got more fun from a 4.9 Evenrude and a 12 foot skiff than Bob or enjoyed fishing more for the awards= first, last, smallest, largest, most, and weirdest fish caught.

Bob and Lois shared wonderful travel adventures- from California or Bust in their Hudson (half way across the continent advised by a mechanic “Turn back-you can’t take your family in that heap-you’ll never make it!”-He was wrong.) Greece and the other cradle of civilization-Panama and a yearlong North American motor home tour 1988-89. Cyndy and I had a happy rendezvous with them outside San Diego and Bob greeted us with these huge sunglasses and crazy hat ( a beanie with a propeller)

Bob has been lovingly dubbed “Father of Manet Community Health Center” in Houghs Neck where it all began in Fall 1979 with Cyndy as the first “Director of Nurse" and Lois as receptionist/den mother par excellence. Years before in the early days of World War II in the Coast Guard Bob and a few other rascals had commandeered some medical regalia and required unsuspecting new arrivals on Gallops Island to undergo some rather unorthodox physical exams-”You men, strip down to your underpants and jump up and down on one foot”...So years later at Manet he volunteered as a “freelance gynecologist”..Along with Red Rielly kept the jokes nonstop at parties (so Father Clancy found an inebriated Paddy O’Rourke alone in church doing the Stations of the Cross backwards...He went up to him and said “Paddy, you're doing them in reverse” to which Paddy replied -”So that’s it - I thought He was looking better and better!”) and Bob joined Frank Sullivan, his comrade in arms for rousing truly spirited renditions of patriotic anthems. Who else but Bob would report on his visits to physician/friend Rolf Knight -”I had great check-up.17 kisses from the lovely Manet ladies.” How fitting the establishment of the “Bob Roche Fun Fund” at Manet Houghs Neck for staff and patients in need of “stat infusion of merriment”( the final decision was a new sign in front of the building which says “donated in memory of Bob Roche” and actually looks like the whole health center has been donated in his name!)
Bob could and did joke about his health (humor the best medicine) He called his HMO “Lost Horizons” instead of Secure Horizons. He wore a T-shirt emblazoned “Tough Old Rooster” during his first round of surgeries because as he proved “Old age is not for sissies.” His first two operations this fall he termed “fusies” and he just wanted the doctor to “put his belly button back in the right place” because it had shifted to the side. Harkening back to his youth Bob would refer to “Eskeys Neurophosophate” the magical health elixir. Talk about nerves of steel- we remember his phone call during the bad storm in ‘92 when he was in the MGH ICU...we had assured him that everything was all right at home and he said" Then how come I’m watching the TV reporters out near the house?” As he said -“You can’t BS a B’ser” Just look at the picture he was “Super Bob ” indeed.

One of his recent jokes Christmas present was a product called “Exercise in a Bottle”. Who else but Bob would retitle the an epic circumnavigation of the world by famed English sailor Sir Francis Chichester -”How to Get Skinny By Drinking” when he saw the author’s dust jacket photo depicting his scrawney form as he showered on deck under sail. Who else would say he was going to the YMCA to exercise and to bring back hot water in a thermos to use at home? Just to get the most from his membership. Unable to walk more than a hundred yards without Charley-horse pain due to claudication he’d ride his bike through the neighborhood maintaining just enough speed to remain upright and scope out the doings of the neighbors and search for treasures in the trash. Oh that bike with the radio/light was appropriately inscribed “The Robin Hood Model” on the chaingaurd. We are thinking of having the bike bronzed....

Bob was as Mimi said a master raconteur- that’s French for story teller, not racketeer.
So many tales (just sketched here) he’d recount and we will cherish always in their vivid details...
Earliest editions of the “Doings of the Van Loons” he called his family of origin stories. -
The famous wise guy neighborhood kid crack to Granpa Roche -”Hey Mr.Roche-what a look she gave you! “Who?" Asked Roche Senior- “Mother Nature”...”Get the hell out of here you little”...
Bob borrowing Jack’s bicycle and how he finally figured out Jack’s secret as to how he knew each time...
The “Minesweeper and depth charging the German submarine while working at the local boatyard”...
Little Gene getting at Bob’s urging getting stuck being the wall while trying to get a sneak peek at the Christmas presents Dad had hidden”...
How Joe Hewes met his future wife Clara (the former Miss Dorchester) while Joe was guarding Grandpa Roche who had been AWOL -the “sauce “ had got him, but only temporarily.
Father Roche’s “The birds .the bees the Vaseline and the Holland Tunnel “ wedding eve advice to Jack and Bob whose reply was -”Oh that’s just beautiful Dad!”
There was so much laughter and love as Bob retold these over the years.
And in the neighborhood there were the classics-”Buck tooth Donovan” and “Deliver the Black Baloney”...
He’d recall Joe Richard’s line about shoveling snow only to be paid with “an apple and a holy card”
And what capers he had with Joe -you know money is really tight when you take tires off dealership cars your father-in-law brings home at lunchtime and you need to siphon gas out of the tank! Bob was of course always loveably larcenous--He knew how to get into the closet at the Captain Lord Mansion in Kennebunkport where the gourmet chocolates were hidden and he had keys to everything- he’d joke about how his sideline rental business was going with the empty cottages and condos where he and Lois had stayed.
Shoreside Road echoes with stories-
The door to door vacuum cleaner salesman who convinced Bob while Lois was out to purchase an expensive machine to save his innocent children from the “germ laden filth festering in their carpets”
Bob would regale us with stories of the tenants of #8 A&B Shoreside.Nana’s “I don’t like the smell of your party remark about a suspicious smoked substance...Tony Serafini who shouted in alarm at fumes pouring into his tiny apartment form some workshop experiment gone wrong -“Fumare- Joe is a trying to a kill me”,and the tenant who awoke to a foot of icy ocean water flooding his room ,who just put on his boots and jacket and waded out of the apartment, out the driveway and never came back ... how about that water meter that used to mysteriously fall of f until just before the reader would arrive to check it...and so many stories and jokes Bob’s famous “hit the paper hit the button, grind the coffee....” What other father, except maybe Joe Richards, would say to his daughter and son-in-law recounting how she lost her wedding ring recovered miraculously when it bounced out of the foot of the bed onto the floor after what Bob would call an anniversary “afternoon delight”-”Kids he said that’s not just a miracle -it’s really a F___ng miracle!

Bob was the genuine miracle! His life what a priceless legacy for Lois, his children, grand-children, family and friends. When answering the funeral director's queries for the obituary “ what clubs and organizations did he belong to? We laughed “The Clean Your Plate Club” and what organizations -He belonged to His Family and to the Family of Man!! Yes, and he was a Party man- the Democratic Party and the Fun Party! We have wonderful last pictures and memories of his 80th on Jan 8th. He said it so many times “Sharing is Loving” and he shared so much happiness with each of us. Every July 4th he’d hilariously announce the fireworks -”Stand back- The grand finale a “Happy Lamp”- he will always light up our lives.

Finally we gave him a medal at Christmas it depicts the Earth with the word “
“Representative “ above it. Bob will always be truly a representative of all that is best and most joyous for this planet and people. He brought joy into every home and heart he entered. He will always be “the one, the only, the extraordinary Bob Roche -Our King of Comedy and Lord of Laughter! Cheers, dearest Bob!


( Leaving Most Blessed Sacrament Church after the Funeral and at the reception celebration in his honor we sang with heartfelt gusto ,as he would want, and could do so well a rousing rendition of “When the Saints Go Marching In”... as the poem goes “It was heaven here with you” and as he surely marched to that world a’waitin’ he’ll greet us with song and laughter one day...)